Battle of... local bands

vs.

I guess the word local would need to be defined here. Jaxon Boom hails from allston rock city while Y LUV is from my home base town of Lex Vegas (Lexington) buttfuck it, I think they're both good.

Video wise Y LUV rocks socks, Jaxon - I heard them live and by that i mean i was at a house party the other weekend and they played in the basement. One song in particular was dope and I was singing it all day the next day. Figures I go to youtube, type in the song cuz it was that awesome and all i get is some weird video.

The band pulled a clean 180 on me.

The night before they were screaming, fired up, jumping across the stage, swearing, crushing beers, banging bitches, sweating, turning red in the face, making my drunk ass yell right along with them - then in the video they are shirtless, cowed- out, and wigged out.

Figures.

Just bypass the awkward two minutes and six seconds. (start 2:06) and jam from there - like i saw.

           battle on    

Battle of... rollercoaster tunes

vs.

The red hot chili peppers song is a legit cover of "rollercoaster of love" by the ohio players, and the top video is a cover of some tripped out underground trance band. A couple of times that song really got to me and I wasn't sure if it was the LSD or the song that was tripping me out more....

Battle of... faceplants

vs.

Faceplants are gold. There is no chance you can watch a faceplant and not laugh. It's just one of those gifts from the higher comedic powers that people should bask in the hilariousness that is a faceplant.

In the top video the kid turned out fine - I should know because I shot the video and at that point I didn't know if I should stop laughing or go help Alex. In the case of the DUI faceplant its a fitting end for this guy as I'm sure his face will be getting smashed into all different sorts of "walls" if you know what I'm saying....

....oh. you dont? It was a prison joke.

Battle of... commentary

vs.

With opening day right around the corner we get ready for Remy and Don's play by play commentary. Anyone who watches the sox knows Remy and his ability to illustrate the scene.

Then you have Snorlax who's helping all the fucking poka-monn...that's not Raichuuu!

Battle of... video game theme songs

vs.

The classic Pok-a-mon song, listing off all the great things you and your Pokemon stand for. Going from gym to gym beating up older kids. Anyway I could bump that song all day but I'd rather grass valley for that.

Grass valley wins on account this remixed version was my ringtone for about a year.

Battle of... drunk interviews

vs.

Last night I had a dream that I made a battle of... that featured two of the best drunk interviews. ever.

The dream quickly changed into a nightmare as I couldn't find a way to put these two drunk interviews together. I remember traveling across wide-open plains and climbing tall red wood trees but still couldn't figure out how to unite these two vids.

Eventually I awoke in a cold sweat. I laid back down in my bed, shaken - I laid there looking at the ceiling and then all of a sudden it made sense to me. Located almost directly above my head in the ceiling design was a obese profile shot of Albert Einstein. Life was so clear. Albert rests above me.

Also I figured I could put these two together in a battle of... titled "drunk interviews".

Battle of... that guys

vs.

Look at that guy!

The top one is great - guy creeping in on a would-be wedding invite card. The bottom picture is great as well because it's real and its That Kid being That Guy. Take notes on how to totally ruin pictures - these are both A+ works.

BONUS: THAT GUY'S

Battle of... great escapes

vs.

Houdini. Hands down. Hands tied. Hands up.

Get ready to rumble.>>>> http://dezblogz.blogspot.com/p/battle-of.html

Battle of... OWLS!

vs.

Both of these owls are BAMF's (bad ass mother fuckers). The tootsie pop hooter knows a good scam when he sees one- pretending to give a shit how many licks it takes to get to the center (man if i had a quarter for everytime i heard that i'd have enough money to play Pacman).

 Meanwhile, Mr. Radar-Dish face is busy hunting with his ears and moving his big dumb face side to side like a black girl going "hmmmm, watchu sayyy biitch?!"

If there is one thing to learn from all this. Owls get hungry too!

Battle of... sticks in the mud

vs.

As these two battle it out for the title of THE stick in the mud, lets reflect on the phrase: a stick in the mud.

stick-in-the-mud (stkn--md) n. pl. stick-in-the-muds Informal

One who lacks initiative, imagination, or enthusiasm.

Noun 1. stick-in-the-mud - someone who moves slowly; "in England they call a slowpoke a slowcoach"

(slowcoach, slowpoke, plodder, dawdler, laggard, lagger, trailer, poke, drone - someone who takes more time than necessary; someone who lags behind )

As i was typing my conclusion to the battle i just kinda. Dumb. The whole thing is dumb.

Battle of... remix songs created from things that had nothing to do with music in the first place

vs.

What's one thing both these videos have in common? Well, ya, they're both songs created from things that had nothing to do with music in the first place, but the other thing.

The answer I was looking for was that the main person in both these videos are on druuuugs.

Battle of... self defense

vs.

Both these acts of self defense are different and the same in many ways. With the halloween prank we see how pure instinct sets in when the body senses a threat.

Then again, Brett teaches us how to get our bodies to the point where we would act that way. What's the first thing your gonna do??

Thats right. Wrist control

Battle of... the extremes

vs.



Both of these contenders are extreme. I'd say that on a 10 scale - 1 being not so extreme and 10 being extremely extreme id give these two a combined EXTREME TOTAL OF 20.5!!!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Battle of... misdirection masters

vs.



David Blaine sure does have the upper hand considering he's an actual magican meaning he can hang upside down for 60 hours. Magic

But don't count the old spice guy out - he had you looking ten different places while he turned those "ticket's to the thing you love" into diamonds and you had noooooo idea. Magic. Misdirection. Magic

I'm on a horse

Battle of... the grape drinks

vs.



Neither of these drinks seem appetizing. With the grapist drink, I don't know how i feel about getting graped in the mouth and with the grape lady - I don't know how I feel about having her fall off the table

I know that last part wouldn't affect taste but then again you wouldn't buy a cheeseburger from a high school drop out.....

Battle of... flashlight usage

vs.



Two cinematic triumphs we have here. With Knife show, they manage to use the flashlight as an artistic medium while HodgeStansson uses it to see alotta' biiitches

It wouldn't be a stretch of the imagination to think that after Bovice smoked that bag of meth that he created Knife show's flashlights........maybe

Battle of... best car ride companion

vs.



Consider the vehicles our respected parties are driving. We have Doug and Steve Butabi - not brothers.......broooothhherrrssss, driving a van loaded with flowers. Then we have Lloyd and Harry, driving a giant sheep dog and the best thing about all this is your bud is riding shotgun.

Piiiickk em' up!
Siiii

Battle of... the scooter gangs

vs.




I know what your thinking, Matt McKeen doesn't stand a chance against the Dean scooter gang. But then you reflect and think well David went against Goliath with a stone and 50 went at Nas and Jigga, both for the throne.