Griiiindin'

 From broslikethissite.com

#29 Grinding

It’s 1 am. You’ve been slamming back brew dogs with your bros for like 7 hours and have a ridiculously nice buzz going. Up to this point it has been a perfect night, but now it’s time to break out the charm on some lucky slam piece. That’s when you spot her dancing in a circle with her friends. The target. As the DJ blares Lady Gaga, you slowly make your way over to the circle. Then, just at the part of the song where Lady Gaga breaks it down, you make your move. Without making eye contact or much less even talking to the girl, you saddle up right behind her, wrap your arm around her stomach and start swing your hips back and forth with her. Let the grind begin. Who says romance is dead?

Typically, unless there is a competition involving a circle of bros chanting and yelling out, “Oh no he didn’t!!” when some sick move is broken out, bros don’t like to dance. Bros generally prefer to be in the background watching and making fun of all the people who are dancing. But bros know fully well, the best way to the bedroom is through the dance floor, and what better way to get your slam piece in the mood than by a dance simulating sex.

I’m not really sure who invented grinding, probably a Black dude, but whatever its fucking awesome. I remember going to my first high school mixer as a 14 year old freshman and seeing a couple “dancing.” The guy was standing up straight and not moving at all while the girl was in grinding position but was bent over touching her toes gently swaying back and forth. This was a little different from my middle school dances where pushing the envelope meant everyone doing the Will Smith “Men In Black” dance. Regardless, I loved the new discovery

One of the great things about grinding is that sometimes bros will get a half-chub or maybe even full-chub. Bros can do one of two things when the chub arrives. They can hide it by smoothly reaching down and doing the “tuck up” by putting it in their waistband, or they can do what I love to do: just fucking going for it. By rubbing your chub up on the girl you are telling her two things: 1. “I’m not impotent” 2. “I would like to have sex with you.” This will often help you bypass any small talk you would normally have to suffer through and move things directly to the bedroom. Girls probably love it when guys get chub. It’s pretty much the best compliment they could ever receive. And honestly, I don’t want to hear any bras out there saying, “I hate it when random guys grind on me” because you are full of shit. If you don’t want guys to grind on you, you should either get really fat or you shouldn’t wear what you are wearing.

Grinding is great. I remember my first bump and grind - not gonna say any names but it was a little asian girl who totally couldn't handle my shit. 

Crazy mexican Kids Grinding on each other. - Watch more Funny  Videos

Don't tase me, bro

Anybody got photoshop? Cuz i'm really tired of doing these things on paint.

Pick me up.

3news- The Transit Agency is warning Hamilton bar-goers about two entrepreneurial locals who have set up their own low-budget, unlicensed taxi service.



Calling themselves "Bro Rydz", the man and woman pick-up patrons from student bars in their ageing sedan, offering cut-price fares for cash. The agency is calling the pair a "public safety issue", but bar owner John Lawrence says they're just providing a service.


The agency has received complaints about the pair and are considering getting the police involved.

What kind of sick and twisted world do we live in where you can't get a cut-priced ride home from your bro. This company could not have a better name: Bro Rydz. Like first off they have "bro" in there followed by the creatively spelled "Rydz". A great name. It could totally go both ways if this who taxi business doesn't pan out (like it is currently). This could totally get flipped and become a bro-escort service.

Honestly, we should look up to these kidz for several reasonz. First off, they use the letter "Z" instead of an "S" like here at DeezBlogZ. Second, you know this idea totally came to them one night when they were leaving a bar shit faced. This was probably the conversation they has as they stumbled out:

Guy:

Hey. wegotta get a fuckin cab

Girl:

Yaaa. cept I wish we didn't have to pay

......(5 mins later)

Guy:

waaaait, waaait, a minute. whatif we could make.

Like if me and you went around and picked a-people up

from the bar for cheaper then those fuckincabs.

Girl:

that's a good idea we could.....

Guy:

let me finish!!!

 and we'll totally call the company Bro Rydz.

So the next time your hammered remember that great ideas come when you least expect it. It's up to you to atleast write it down should genius strike. Then, in the morning when your skimming through your texts from last night you can see that untitled one that says "great idea remember it in the morning" and turnn yourself into a more-modern day Carlos Slim.

The Broccoli tree

Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name, and they're always glad ya came.

No, I'm not talking about CHEERS bar, I'm talking about the Broccoli tree. For those of you who didn't go to Dean College and I'm sure that is alot of you - the broccoli tree (more commonly refered to as "Adams Butt Hut") was the place where no matter what hour of the day it was, someone was always out there. I'm sure at one time or another I saw Rooney out there destorying a pack of Reds. It was more than likely just Billy since he was out there EVERY night like clockwork.

The sense of community that happened at the Broccoli tree was like no other. Everyone was out there to do one thing and one thing only....smoke their butts or travel through time and space. To say Adams butt hutt was anything less than a pure magical place is pure magical bullshit. ONE time I saw a fight but that was just a rap battle that Not Retarded Perry clearly destoryed retarded Perry in a rap battle - who gives if he rhymed "shit" with "shit" - because I don't. To see that kid make it to six verses was amazing.

Great times happened at the Tree and that's something that can never be forgotten. All those times spent glaring at the cop sitting in the elementary school parking lot waiting for one of us to fuck up or for a speeding car to fly right by. Watch Dominos roll up to deliver that grime status. We were untouchable at our special spot, and for those who weren't touched, it was magic in the third degree. Wind, rain, shine, snow, sleet,  tornado, white out, black out, cock out, cook out, volleball, zombie nation for kicks, pick up sticks, Jaddwick's, whatever - someone was always out there. Dedication.

So people, go to your bars - hang out with your friends. Live by the Broccoli tree code: community.

(this video was named broccoli tree because the people featured in this video were the ones who made up the name. no if ands or buttttsssss.)

Domesticated Buddies

A friend who can't speak is usually referred to as incompetent or shitfaced. A best friend who can't talk at all you call your best friend. No I'm not talking humans or That Kid; I'm talking about our domesticated animal friends


I love pets of all kinds. They are like moving pieces of furniture that warmly greet every time you return home. Whether its coming back from grocery shopping or from a overseas vacation, their nose is in your crotch with in the seconds you come through the door. It’s not until you have awesome animals that you’re able to see how lame other people’s animals are (I.e. That Kid's dog Tucker, jills cats, and Curt’s cat Taffy)

These animals almost seem to lack the incentive to be awesome. Instead of being LIKE pieces of furniture, their lameness makes them into ACTUAL pieces of furniture. But Instead of being able to sit on them you have to feed them and walk them.

I have logged many years worth of experience around AWESOME animals - tom (third down) and harry (R.I.P h - second down), my cousin's dogs Gunner(top, top) and Chewy (top, bottom), Max, Sabrina’s cat zoey which is the coolest cat in Allston, Metal Kitty (bottom) the former coolest cat in Allston, Ben’s dog SAAAANDY, duke, major and roscoe, Dave’s cat Rocky, ect.

Instead of being pieces of bitching furniture, these animals take center stage in the room. They provided entertainment and joy, something truly special from a creature that has no fucking idea what's going on.

Now, is it the persons fault if their animal is lame? Not really.

Is it the ownersfault if they don't remind their pet just how lame they really are everyday? Yes.

It should be said directly to the animal’s face every day that they suck-hard. This is the scarlet letter amongst domesticated friends.

(i put the cat video ontop of the dogs video on purpose....)

room 226

(click to see in IMAX levels)

Ohh, friend

Watched the new episode the other night. So good. Should have listened the first time.

Straight Edge: the Ultimate Bro-haters

 ....A guide to straight edge   

 presented by That Kid       

So yesterday, naturally, I’m at the bar.

Hammered drunk at noon, stealing green beer from girls’ pitchers, telling them how interesting it is that they are taking a fine arts class (yawn). Sometimes cheap beer just can’t do it for me so it’s time to head back in and order myself a man drink. Through the crowd of brosers ordering there festive bud lights in the green bottles, I make my way to the front and get the bartenders attention. Obviously I have complete reign over the bar at this point, and when the bartender acknowledges my Sox hat in a sea of Yankees tools, I jump to the front of the line. “A shot of Jameson with a Guinness back barkeep, and keep the change”, I say as I pay the man his money, when a little way down the bar I hear an order probably only spoken once in a blue moon on St. Patrick’s Day:

“Can I get a coke and a water please?”

The order hits me so hard I basically stumble back, for sure this young man meant to put some Jack in that coke, but as I make my way over to him I see the reasoning behind this most vile of vile bar orders, three large, bold, white letter X’s on a black shirt.

For those of you not familiar with this symbol, this is the self-appointed international symbol for the Straight Edge community. From what I’ve heard some people have different definitions of what Straight Edge means, but basically the three X’s are meant to stand for, No Drinking, No Drugs, and No Promiscuous Sex (Although I heard some don’t follow this one, but how much more fun is promiscuous sex when you can drink).

Now I know you must be saying to yourself, “That Kid, you must be joking, surely there must be a reason, no college student in his right mind would choose not to drink, do drugs, or slam bits voluntarily?”

Unfortunately comrades, I jest not. The story goes that the hardcore punk band Minor Threat coined the term straight edge in their song of the same name in the 1980’s. If you’ve ever seen kids with X’s on their hands, this also is a sign of the straight edge lifestyle, first used when underage kids would go to see shows and the X’s bouncers would draw on their hands was used to signify that the patron was underage and couldn’t drink, which was later adopted by anyone following the lifestyle. Many hardcore bands today still promote the straight edge lifestyle, usually expressed through their lyrics and during shows and such.

So let’s go over this again, anyone going by these rules doesn’t drink, doesn’t do drugs (some even retain from advil…what), and doesn’t have promiscuous sex. In recent years too, the movement for veganism/vegetarianism has been pushed to be included. So basically, they are the complete opposite of the archetypal bro, bro’s love to drink, love to do whatever the fuck they want, promiscuous sex is the only kind of sex, and grillin’ anything as long as it was once a living breathing animal.

If you see one at a bar, they will generally stay out of your way, but if they ever feel the need to dismiss your particularly awesome activities, there’s only one phrase I have for them:

Sorry for Partying.

http://www.dobi.nu/yourscenesucks/


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