Showed up, it was a hotel party

msnbc - Kiefer Sutherland started the night having drinks at a hotel bar — but by 4 a.m., the “24” star was photographed shirtless and stumbling on a London street.

According to reports, the actor was spotted drinking wine at the Covent Garden Hotel bar with a friend, where he stayed until 2 a.m. Next, he was driven to a nearby strip club, Stringfellow's Gentlemen's Club. Around 4 a.m., paparazzi captured the actor, who had since removed his shirt, being escorted out of the club by bouncers who held him in a headlock.

The actor was stumbling and falling all over the street — then reportedly was placed in his car and chauffeured back to his hotel.

I wonder if this would have played out differently if Kiefer was just chillin at a Holiday Inn instead of that trashy ass Covent Garden Hotel. Seems like people just let go of their morals when they're at a hotel. That's good news since here at Hotel Cenica del Rioo you may get a full booday mass-aage.

It also comes with a light. We got a light...

Battle of... faceplants

vs.

Faceplants are gold. There is no chance you can watch a faceplant and not laugh. It's just one of those gifts from the higher comedic powers that people should bask in the hilariousness that is a faceplant.

In the top video the kid turned out fine - I should know because I shot the video and at that point I didn't know if I should stop laughing or go help Alex. In the case of the DUI faceplant its a fitting end for this guy as I'm sure his face will be getting smashed into all different sorts of "walls" if you know what I'm saying....

....oh. you dont? It was a prison joke.

Drinking Champion

      job searching

by  That Kid                                   

Seriously, how is this not a job yet? I meet all the qualifications necessary that I assume this job would entail. After coming off one of the longest binge streaks of my life (St. Patrick’s Day up until last day of spring break on Sunday) I have been constantly drunk and/or partying, as should be expected when your school decides to create the perfect storm by placing your spring break immediately following the start of March Madness, St. Patrick’s Day, and That Kid Approved Holiday, Stoopfest.

For those of you who know how to read context clues, you’ll realize that the lack of That Kid updates has been because I have been trying to gain experience in the field of Drinking Champion, hoping to show up to the slew of job interviews I was sure to see online with a resume that any sensible manager would put up on the walls of their office with a note next to it saying,”This is how you get the fuckin’ job.” To my utter and complete disbelief though, this job technically does not exist.

 In the business world, getting paid to party is somehow not a priority of companies that trade on the New York Stock Exchange. Fortunately, this is what makes our country so great. Despite not being able to formally apply for a job as the ultimate partier, there are other “careers” which allow people to get paid to do just that, party their faces off.

(35 allston)

With shows like The Real World, and sociological experiments such as The Jersey Shore (I would never judge a person on their skin color, unless it’s orange), people are getting paid to do exactly what social norms tell us not to do for a living, Gahd Damn party.

Think about it, if you haven’t seen these kids from Jersey Shore on at least one talk show or at least entertainment news segment, you must be living under a pale, non-blown out haircut rock. And what are their skill sets? Basically all they have to do is be content with being themselves. They live by the GTL (Gym, Tan, Laundry) Guido lifestyle, and are not afraid to show it. MTV producers must have needed to change their pants at least three times when the show finally hit, because my guess is unlike other MTV ‘Reality’ shows, they need to maintain minimal hold on telling the cast what to do, and because of this they’re now making a career out of it.

This thought all started when I was flipping through the channels the other day and came across WWE Raw on USA. I hadn’t watched Wrestling since I was a little kid and remembered the day before was Wrestlemania (Thanks Ayii), so I decided to check it out for a little bit. But lo and behold who do I see holding two belts over his shoulder talking into the mic, but The Miz.

For those who don’t remember, Mike Mizanin aka “The Miz”, made his debut on the Real World in 2001 on The Real World: Back to New York. Math check (Dave, grab your calculator) 2010 minus 2001 is 9 years. So in this time from when he made his debut on The Real World, to his stint on the endless spin-off shows (RealWorld:RoadRules Challenge, etc.) he has taken his character alter-ego from the original 2001 Real World when he would get shiiiitfaced called, “The Miz”, and transformed himself into a Wrestlemania winning bad boy.

Unfortunately, Monster.com couldn’t help me in my job search, but from my research it’s shown me just one thing, you better get your tivo’s ready cause the way things are going and how you get famous these days, I’m gonna be blowin’ up on your tv’s very soon. Or at least coming to a bar near you soon.

-THat KIIIDD

Team: Work

They say there is no I in TEAM. This is true - but there is a ME, MEAT, TEA, MATE, EAT....


With that being said some teams were just destined for greatness. Team names meant to forever echo in the halls of history.

Do the players make the team or does the team make the players? I think yesterday shed some light on that debate.

Last night I'm at The Kels bar in Allston (ya on a Monday) with Dave to watch Izzy and DJ run some train in a ruit tourney. Dave ordered a pitcher of some Magic Hat to start and it was delicious. Around the back of the bar was where warm-ups were taking place. It was only 930 but Izzy was already showing signs of dominance. Eventually more people showed up around 10 and things got underway. The amount of bros there was staggering - bros on bros.

The DJ announced the first six matches from high atop his jockey tower in the room. Our heroes for tonight Izzy and DJ (team NSFW) had first ups on table two.

The disc-DJ read off more of the names. Some team names were so good I just had to bust out the blackberry and log them into a memo pad. Here's a list of some of the best ones:

More head than pillows

The Dennis system

NSFW

No means yes, yes means anal

Straight cash homey

Cock consuming cunt

Black Jesus

Scotts paper towels

Cervix

Hannah does Montana

Rob and Dan

Carpet matches the drapes

Fat kids are harder to kidnap

KY jelly donuts

Spread eagle

Bert’s bukkake

Some of these names were made funnier when a match was announced (on table one we have more head than pillows vs. Hannah does Montana, cock consuming cuts vs. Rob and Dan)


Team NSFW made quick work in round one. The tourney was double elimination which meant a lot of teams were there at the start. The teams who lost played again sooner that teams who had won to filter out the suck early.


NSFW went on to win the next two games making them a perfect 3-0. Also by this time Dave and I were on our 3rd pitcher of $5 beer.

Competition got tough as NSFW faced more composed teams. They were met with their first defeat in the 4th round at the hands of team kid-who-looked-like-the-older-brother-from-Home Improvement and a really beat chick. Home Improvement kid had an arc shot like I've never seen before. After lining the shot up and taking countless mock shots he finally released the ball into a high rainbow that splashed down in the last cup.



A crushing defeat for NSFW.



The tourney pressed on. In round 5 with one loss already looming overhead for team NSFW they looked to battle against the odds and the early deficit they found themselves in. Down 8 cups to 3 they mounted a comeback. Rallying, they twiddled the score to 4-1. The other team had been swishing all game and with only one cup remaining it looked as if NSFW was going to make a late exit.

A composed Izzy hit his shot. A lesser composed DJ hit his shot. Balls back. 2-1. Miss. Miss

The other team responded with two bricks shots of their own. With balls in hand team NSFW glared at the two cups that remained. Eat or be eaten.

Splash. Splash.



Two shots. Two cups. No girls. NSFW had done it, they had staged an amazing comeback - one that will be talked about for generations. To celebrate, Dave bought another pitched for himself (I grabbed a plastic cup and helped). NSFW moved on once more. Izzy's back grew tired from carrying the team.

The next game wasn't as exciting. Team "other guys" created an early lead that Izzy and DJ just couldn't overcome. No shame here - first time at the tourney and they had made it to the quarterfinals.

We will be back another Monday. $5 pitchers in hand. Even though NSFW hadn’t won the whole thing they made it pretty far…..kind of like another great team I remember……….

Battle of... drunk interviews

vs.

Last night I had a dream that I made a battle of... that featured two of the best drunk interviews. ever.

The dream quickly changed into a nightmare as I couldn't find a way to put these two drunk interviews together. I remember traveling across wide-open plains and climbing tall red wood trees but still couldn't figure out how to unite these two vids.

Eventually I awoke in a cold sweat. I laid back down in my bed, shaken - I laid there looking at the ceiling and then all of a sudden it made sense to me. Located almost directly above my head in the ceiling design was a obese profile shot of Albert Einstein. Life was so clear. Albert rests above me.

Also I figured I could put these two together in a battle of... titled "drunk interviews".

Battle of... remix songs created from things that had nothing to do with music in the first place

vs.

What's one thing both these videos have in common? Well, ya, they're both songs created from things that had nothing to do with music in the first place, but the other thing.

The answer I was looking for was that the main person in both these videos are on druuuugs.

Drank alota' booze, Rooney

it's Thursday night.

C.A. on duty!!!

Ya, I'll drink to that and so should you