With that being said some teams were just destined for greatness. Team names meant to forever echo in the halls of history.
Do the players make the team or does the team make the players? I think yesterday shed some light on that debate.
Last night I'm at The Kels bar in Allston (ya on a Monday) with Dave to watch Izzy and DJ run some train in a ruit tourney. Dave ordered a pitcher of some Magic Hat to start and it was delicious. Around the back of the bar was where warm-ups were taking place. It was only 930 but Izzy was already showing signs of dominance. Eventually more people showed up around 10 and things got underway. The amount of bros there was staggering - bros on bros.
The DJ announced the first six matches from high atop his jockey tower in the room. Our heroes for tonight Izzy and DJ (team NSFW) had first ups on table two.
The disc-DJ read off more of the names. Some team names were so good I just had to bust out the blackberry and log them into a memo pad. Here's a list of some of the best ones:
More head than pillows
The Dennis system
NSFW
No means yes, yes means anal
Straight cash homey
Cock consuming cunt
Black Jesus
Scotts paper towels
Cervix
Hannah does Montana
Rob and Dan
Carpet matches the drapes
Fat kids are harder to kidnap
KY jelly donuts
Spread eagle
Bert’s bukkake
Some of these names were made funnier when a match was announced (on table one we have more head than pillows vs. Hannah does Montana, cock consuming cuts vs. Rob and Dan)
Team NSFW made quick work in round one. The tourney was double elimination which meant a lot of teams were there at the start. The teams who lost played again sooner that teams who had won to filter out the suck early.
NSFW went on to win the next two games making them a perfect 3-0. Also by this time Dave and I were on our 3rd pitcher of $5 beer.
Competition got tough as NSFW faced more composed teams. They were met with their first defeat in the 4th round at the hands of team kid-who-looked-like-the-older-brother-from-Home Improvement and a really beat chick. Home Improvement kid had an arc shot like I've never seen before. After lining the shot up and taking countless mock shots he finally released the ball into a high rainbow that splashed down in the last cup.
A crushing defeat for NSFW.
The tourney pressed on. In round 5 with one loss already looming overhead for team NSFW they looked to battle against the odds and the early deficit they found themselves in. Down 8 cups to 3 they mounted a comeback. Rallying, they twiddled the score to 4-1. The other team had been swishing all game and with only one cup remaining it looked as if NSFW was going to make a late exit.
A composed Izzy hit his shot. A lesser composed DJ hit his shot. Balls back. 2-1. Miss. Miss
The other team responded with two bricks shots of their own. With balls in hand team NSFW glared at the two cups that remained. Eat or be eaten.
Splash. Splash.
Two shots. Two cups. No girls. NSFW had done it, they had staged an amazing comeback - one that will be talked about for generations. To celebrate, Dave bought another pitched for himself (I grabbed a plastic cup and helped). NSFW moved on once more. Izzy's back grew tired from carrying the team.
The next game wasn't as exciting. Team "other guys" created an early lead that Izzy and DJ just couldn't overcome. No shame here - first time at the tourney and they had made it to the quarterfinals.
We will be back another Monday. $5 pitchers in hand. Even though NSFW hadn’t won the whole thing they made it pretty far…..kind of like another great team I remember……….
Epic
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