Here's to me!

Drink Toasts

presented by That Kid

As I start my day off eating my traditional Irish breakfast, drinking my first pint of Guinness, and a shot of Jameson, I start to plan out the rest of my day so that my sub-conscious knows where to take me when I’m too incoherent to remember. There is no doubt I’ll probably wind up stumbling in to the local Irish bar Blarney’s for Car Bombs and 5 dollar pitchers of Green Beer.

The modern college bar is nearly unrecognizable to the pubs and taverns of yesteryear, but on St. Patrick’s Day some bars are able bring back the feeling of older days when going to the bar wasn’t all about themes and what specials there were that night.

So this year re-live the aspects of the holiday by engaging in one of the long-forgotten traditions of the pub: The Toast.

The bar toast is a great way to engage people and really get people in to the mood to drink, here’s a few of my favorites that I’ve heard that you should use feel free to use tonight, if you can remember them.

"Here's to the girl with the little red shoes,

she'll drink your liquor she'll drink your booze.

One day she lost her cherry, what a terrible sin,

but at least she still has the box her cherry came in."

~

“Here’s to a long life and a merry one.

A quick death and an easy one

A pretty girl and an honest one

A cold beer – and another one!”

~

“Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends!”

~

“Here’s to the ideal woman; Who could ask for more?

She’s deaf ‘n dumb, oversexed, and owns a liquor store.”

~
“Here’s to Hell! May my stay there be as much fun as my way there!”

~

“Here’s to those who sit when they pee.

We love ‘em in leather,

We love ‘em in lace,

But we love ‘em the best when they sit on our face!”

~

“I used to know a clever toast,

But now I cannot think it,

So fill your glass to anything,

And damn your souls, I’ll drink it!”

~

~

“Here’s to the people we’ve met,

And the people we’ve fucked,

And those of us who’ve had no such luck

Here’s to beer in the glass,

And vodka in the cup

Here’s to poking her in the ass so she won’t get knocked up

Here’s to all of you,

And here’s to me

Together as friends we will always be,

But if we should ever disagree

Then Fuck all you and here’s to me!”

-Tucker Max

~ ~

I’ll leave you with an original, now go out and celebrate your Irish heritage, or lack thereof, Erin Go Braugh

Here’s to beer and here’s to rum,

Here’s to all having a little fun,

Here’s to the girl that smacked my face,

At least I can say I got first base,

              Dez That Kid