I learned more on my way to school today than in actual school.
After waiting 20 minutes in the pouring wind driven rain to board the train (classic B line) I managed to snag the last open seat. The train roared 100 yards down the track and stopped at Harvard ave, then another 100 yards to packards corner (classic B line) then 50 yards to the next stop.
It was here that our teacher boarded the train - puffy vest from urban renewals, a metallic cane, grizzly wilderness beard, shoes with no back, and two bags of trash that he made clear were "clean bags of trash everyone". He walked over dropped his bags and posted up right in front of me. Standing to my right was a pretty young asian woman who was minding her own business balls deep in her school notes, as for me I sat balls deep in my blackberry.
"Ouch!"
I looked up and so did everyone else. The asian woman bent down picked up her umbrella and walked back further into the train car.
The grizzly bearded philosopher bent down and put his hand in my face, pinching his own hand. "Its proven fact. Asians have special powers in their blood that make them smarter than the jews and the blacks and the white american."
I looked at him as seriously as he was looking at me. "I'm going to go ahead an disagree with you completely on that"
If it weren't for the fact the train was packed and I had the last seat I would have never bothered to put up with this crazy talk - but I was cornered. He went on rambling about how all this was "proven fact" and at one point his own revelations weren't making sense to himself. It was when he finally stopped to take a breath (somewhere in between talking about a billionaire professor up in Toronto who had all these findings and how MLK Jr. was a left wing crazy who just wanted MONEY) that I butted in with my own deep intellectual facts.
"Toronto is in Canada".
I stopped him dead in his thought tracks. After all the time he had given me to formulate a response I went with the canada option to stun him. Sure I could have said one of the following:
- "ohhh all this from a guy who carries trash around"
- "I've been in school for 14 years and I've never heard any of the findings you speak of"
- "your ollllddddd"
- "I graduated magna cum laude, gave the commencement speech at graduation and am currently en route to class at my school that was just named to some presidential honor roll list for greatness"
Did i think all that. Yes. Did i say any of it. No.
I choose nurture over nature (nature being to completely rip on this crazy dude and nurture being to try and educate this man properly). After repeating back to me that yes, indeed, Toronto was in Canada he went on to talk about how corrupt america was and that to be american was to serve only....I tuned out right there, I was growing tired of this. I asked if he got all his facts from the enquirer and if he's ever read an american history book
"I don't read" he told me.
He went on talking about how albert Einstein's theory of relativity had to do with medical findings or some shit? All the while continuing to remind me that this is "proven fact by that guy in Toronto". I refuted these "facts" back and forth with him drawing the attention of some of the passengers - who giggled softly at some of my sarcastically witty responses.
I clearly had the dominant position in this conversation, even tho by film standards, since he was standing looking down at me and I was sitting looking up at him it would infer that he was in the dominant position. But that's film, this is the B-line on a Monday
I asked him what he had in the trash bags and he told me he sleeps on them. My initial hypothesis was correct: homeless.
He kept talking and I kept trying to get a solid picture of him on my phone so I could blog later with proof. Eventually after I snapped a picture I cut him off mid-bullshit-fact and asked if he had a library card.
"No" he said. I told him that they are free and that he should get one and read up on these facts. Get off at copley, the boston public library is there I advised him. He wasn't as much interested in the free books and exponential learning possibilities but instead was curious to know if the library had a basement. I could only assume it did and it wasn't until later that I realized he's probably going to try and sleep there tonight.
By this time in the conversation we had gone underground. I had also reached the tipping point of this conversation (plus he was getting physically closer and closer). The train pulled into the Hynes stop - I jumped up, said nice talking to you and exited the crowded train and waited for the next one.
I feel like I should take a shower to wash this dudes bad breath and far-winged views off me.
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