10 things you definitely do on facebook

What happened to the good ol' days?

I'm not talking about when facebook was only a profile pic, interests, groups, and a wall.

No. I'm talking about the good ol' days when right before you'd snap a picture u'd say "cheese!" and not "faceboooookk!".

Or a time when you actually knew your "friends" and knew that you didn't honestly have over 1,000 of them.

A time when you'd call your friend or make them a cake on their birthday instead of HBD (are you kidding me, we abbreviated Happy Birthday.)

Or even a time when "writing on a wall" meant you actually busted out the fucking spray paint and got mischievous on the side of a CVS.

Well those days are gone. All innocence has been lost to the world wide web.

Whats his face from Harvard is laughing his ass off because he "thought up" of this whole thing. You spend the hours you could be doing something productive slinking around the social site, clicking the endless stockpile of names  and photos, occasionally dropping in on that girl/guy from your stats class that you wanna finger. Well guess what? You are all SSSssss0000ooo0000o predictable.

Below I've listed the 10 things you've either done, currently doing, or are going to do on the FB:

 #10 - Say "I miss you" or "we need to hang out" in a wall post  

Ya d00de totally, like i totally don't have your number but i though it would be cool that everyone knows we havn't hung out or that i miss you, bro

 #9 Write happy birthday on your friends wall
HBD

 #8 Put a persons name under interest or activity
Some of my favorite activites include hiking, reading poetry, cooking, AMY,making bird houses, xbox, JASON, surfing, computer games, spooning

 #7 Make ur status about how much work you have
Two papers, one lab report, and work - all needing to happen right now. What better way to get all those things done than to go on fb and bitch about it. That's how the real world works, right?

 #6 List a band you just heard under ur fav. music
It's important that everyone knows everything you've ever heard. That includes the cop car siren  tearing down the street.

Oh, and 2Pac, Arcade fire, local natives, new radicals, the lion king soundtrack, NELLY - ummm

 #5 Make your "about you" nothing about you
Guilty.

 #4 Tag people as inanimate objects in pictures
OMG all these empty bottles TOTALLY look like you

 #3 Make variations to your actual name so your place of work can't find you
Ok Clark Rockefeller, we found youuu. You can run and change your name but you can't hide. How about you just keep the questionable content under wraps - or backed up on your hard drive dummy :)

 #2 Name a photo album after a quote from the night before 
Imagine if directors and studios titled their movies after a one liner in the film. It would be a bitch trying to find that in Blockbuster.

finding a blockbuster would be hard as well. There was that one movie tho...... 

 #1 Update your profile picture
It's a good thing you changed that picture. You look completely different from yesterday.....
 
 
 
MySpace 4eva!