Saturday, March 13, 2010

10 movies aliens hate our human guts in

Your really going to travel all this way just to start shit with us? Dummies

#10 - Galaxy Quest (1999)
Granted it was Tim Allen representing the human race so I don't really blame the aliens for wanting to eat the shit out of him.
#9 - District 9 (2009)
Humans! Everyone run! Nok Nok!

#8 - Evolution (2001)
Can't really blame the aliens here, they just came here as bacteria and kind of.... evolved into hating humans. Who knew that their only weakness was Head and Shoulders - spoiler alert

#7 - The X Files (1998)
Maybe aliens don't hate humans - just David Duchovny

#6 - Men in Black (1997)
They hide as humans and they hate them at the same time - what kind of sick catch 22 is that. One major plot hole tho in this movie - had the guy just gotten his sugar water we could have prevented an entire intergalactic war

#5 - Cloverfield (2008)
This "thing" was on a personal vendetta to destroy anything and everything human, including the Brooklyn bridge. Our bro's and ladies were just trying to have a fun Going-away-to-China party and then this party monster had to go all fuckhumany and emo. Ugly grasshopper

#4 - War of the Worlds (the 2005 Tom Cruise one)
After rising up from the ground via a lightning bolt to commit a world wide human genocide they find out they're allergic to air. Oh, spoiler alert

#3 - Signs (2002)
If only these aliens had given us some kind of warning sign that an invasion was imminent. But it was on top of not giving the heads up that they think they're going to get past the one and only Mel Gibson. I don't think so

#2 - Mars Attacks! (1996)
Cool, a vapor gun designed specifically to vaporize humans. And not just any humans but Jack Nicholson, Glenn Close, Annette Bening, Pierce Brosnan, Danny DeVito, Martin Short, Sarah Jessica Parker, Michael J. Fox, Rod Steiger, Tom Jones, Jim Brown, Lukas Haas, Natalie Portman, Pam Grier, and Lisa Marie.

#1 - Independence Day (1996)
Pretty sure the aliens have one line in the movie other than "ahahghfhhhh shhhhh" and thats "NO PEACE. DIE". Let me tell you something crazy. This is planet Earth - home to the ocean and America. Set, spike, game. 

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