What rhymes with orange? besides "mother fucker"

That Kid Gets Pissed at Inanimate Object

Dear Oranges,

Where do you get off? What gives you the right to make yourself nearly impossible to eat without use of a knife? Unlike your much easier to peel (and much tastier) counterpart the Clementine, you decided to make your skin like 5 times thicker.
 
And even when I do get all of that god damn skin off, you leave behind this fucking shitty tasting white underskin that just ruins the taste of your overrated slices anyway. And speaking of slices, what the fuck is wrong with you, whenever I try to just take one slice (you know, like your much cooler little brother the Clementine lets me do) you fuckin squirt me in the face. If I wanted orange juice, I’d beat you to a pulp (double pun).
 

 
Here’s the message oranges, either get rid of the skin and white shit so I can eat you like an apple, or just stick to juice and being cut into slices for recreation soccer games, cause this shit you’re pulling right now ain’t gonna fly.
 
-That Kid