first review of Minus the Bear - Omni, and by first i mean - the very first

I'm all over this. Even before Rolling Stone, McHuge (since hes all but jumped ship from Deez) or whatever legit source you get your music reviews from. But today they ain't got shit on me because my superior "looking" skills managed to get my ears on this album before it drops May 4th.

(im workin on the 5 star system cuz no one cares about what i have to say about music - just want to know what songs to hit up first. obviously all Bear songs are amazing so the stars are just for you to know which ones are better than the others - kind of like human races)

My Time - ****

"song most likely to be sung in the shower"

Summer Angel - ***

"song most likely to be quoted in a valentines day card"

Secret Country  - ***

"honestly didn't even know this was a different song because the transition was seemless and there was just too much blood traveling between my heart - brain - boner that i couldn't process the jump"

Hold Me Down - **

"song most likely to be confused with other previous MTB favs"

Excuses - **

"song most likely to be played when chillin"

The Thief - ***

"best breakdown"

Into the Mirror - *****

"the best song on the album - i knew this even before they recorded it"

Animal Backwards - ****

"Back to back gems. Bear goes Techno"

Dayglow Vista Road  - ***

"don't be confused by the intro - it isn't Radiohead"

Fooled By the Night - ****

"chillin. thank you bear, please come again"

As solid as this new CD is - I'm still about my old bear. I know you are too
 
 

 

 

The church of south park

The last two episodes of South Park seem to be blogging gold but to be honest - I don't really care. Last nights episode (4/21/10) sucked cuz half the shit was bleeped out. And by half the shit I mean they couldn't say the M word because of some threats made by some group.

Ya I'm arrogant and don't think this is a big deal because it really isn't. It's a cartoon that has shit and pissed on about every iconic figure since the show started in 1997. So i guess this big uproar was 13 years in the making. What i don't get is that the show is taking all this heat because they can't show or say "mohammed" - but they "showed" him last episode (ep. 200) but dressed in a bear suit (top picture).

Rewind. They get yelled at and censored now but it was OK a few years ago to show him full on (bottom picture) - side by side with Jesus and others. Come on comedy central people, give me a break.

Best case scenario

Obviously Bear Grylls would have a new show where the main premise is to show him being absolutely awesome. While I can't say this is the new "man vs. wild" - I will say however that this may be the best new metal show on television. "Worst case scenario" was originally a flip-book type manual showing you how to escape from scenarios that are the worst. Granted when I read this book as a kid half the shit in it I felt could never happen to me - but then again, at that time I was young and naive.

Fortunately we have bear grylls - a man who will stop at nothing to make sure we have something to say "holy Santa clause shit" about.

Look at bear grylls escape this exploding car...holy Santa clause shit. And check out the crazy video below...Santa!

Earth DAY?

"All of human history has happened on that tiny pixel, which is our only home."

- Carl Sagan

With today being Earth day and all I figure now would be a good time to raise some important issues. One for instance being why is earth day only one day out of the year?

Do we seriously think one day is enough to raise awareness about all the shit we're doing to our one and only home? Every water bottle, plastic bag, and emissions spoof adds to the fucking we as humans lay upon our living quarters. People say "blah blah blah by the time all this adds up our human race will have already moved to another planet or some shit". How are we suppose to migrate to another planet, let alone space, if we don't invest in the technology that will get us there.

I'll tell you why.

But not right now because it’s nice out. Do our home a favor today and pick up a piece of trash - recycle a bottle or whatever. This place is all we got




(The picture above- This narrow-angle color image of the Earth, dubbed ‘Pale Blue Dot’, taken by Voyager 1. The spacecraft acquired a total of 60 frames for a mosaic of the solar system from a distance of more than 4 billion miles from Earth and about 32 degrees above the ecliptic. From Voyager's great distance Earth is a mere point of light, less than the size of a picture element even in the narrow-angle camera. Earth was a crescent only 0.12 pixel in size..)

This day in history - April 22nd

1969 – British yachtsman Sir Robin Knox-Johnston completes the first solo non-stop circumnavigation of the world.


Let me get this straight, this Knox-Johnston guy decided to go balls to the wall and sail around the world all by himself non-stop. This guy is out of his damn mind.

If I'm on a boat I'm gonna have to have a couple hoes to keep me company, if not T-Pain. Awww shit get your towels ready....

The highest of holidays

Judging by everyone’s constant updated facebook statues about 420 I'm sure you all had a great day. As for myself, I spent the hours between 9am - 6pm in class yesterday. No break. Yuck.


Awesome 420 right? Believe it or not it was. Things took a turn for the better around 1:30pm - my media class got out thirty minutes earlier on account no one was there nor listening as usual. I figured with the thirty minute block of time between early dismissal and my next class I could either A) go eat lunch or B) go walk through the Boston common where I knew for sure shit was getting blazed up.

Quick decision.

With that I sprinted across a busy Tremont street (ok I waited for the cross walk) and into the common. It was a damn near perfect day weather wise as proof by the pictures sprinkled amongst this post.

As I got closer and closer to the epicenter of the common - it hit me. That invisible aroma triggered my senses. A lite breeze turned the common into a weedstank melting pot and I was getting the sloopy seconds with no complaints.

Walking up the steep incline I reached the highest point in the commons (pun absolutely intended).

People were out in force smoking bowls and blunts like the shit was going out of style. I stood there and contemplated asking the group of six or so Mexican thug cartel ring leaders if I could get a drag on their gorilla finger sized blizz.

On second thought I decided to scan the commons below for someone I knew. The whole time I was there I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

People coming to the epicenter from all corners of the globe - pulling blunts out of the air and lighting them up in front of little kids and park rangers. I started laughing because of this settings absolute ridiculous. To add to the insanity, I spotted a merry-go-round in the middle of everything. Obviously. All this happiness and second hand-i-ness made me hungry so I reverted back to plan A) go eat lunch.

Does this cup cake mixed with soft serve royal raspberry topped with sprinkles look like a meal I'd eat on 420? Well the answer is yuuuup and just wait.

A few more hours and one more class till I was clear for lift off. Over in mission hill my co-pilot on this day, DJ, waited patiently at the launch site for my arrival. Class 2-5:45. Teacher brought snacks. Dude knew what was up. After class, I made my way over to the sketchy ass orange line via the sketchy ass Chinatown stop to sketchy ass Roxbury crossing. Quick walk from there and I was at the launch site. Couple jays and a ghetto “time travel machine” and we were ready to go. Raj couldn’t believe the contraption I had assembled so he came along for the voyage. Marathon Dave, DJ Addy, and Ayyiiii stood out on the porch

 It was epic.

Back inside for a couple rounds of Super Smash and Goldeneye then it was on to trying to spot Izzy at the Celtics game. Didn’t take long to spot him amongst the crowd. Sick seats bro.

(can you spot Izzy?)

Since the Celtics game was a complete fuck – a clinic from Ray Ray, we decided the “spot Izzy game” was far more exciting. To top off my 420 me and DJ destroyed a soup kitchens worth of rations.

 Switching in-between the Celtics and sox we managed to land on NESN just in time to see Darnell McDonald put one off the bottom of the monster for the walk off. A successful 420 indeed.

(oh there he is. gaahttt him - very top left)

BrickBreak item power rankings

If you rep a blackberry you already know. To those people with flip phones (dave) keep playing with your calculator, those with the iphone keep playing what ever it is you play. Brickbreaker is the go to game on the blackberry when your bored. It's what you do when its either between paying attention to the world around you or shoving a thumb up yo ass. For me personally, brickbreak is engaged the second the T dips underground and all service is lost. I'm not the only one too - I can glance around and see people doing the same thing. Different levels, same game.

The next time you find a blackberry in your hand and brickbreak is going down remember these item power rankings so you can shatter that high score.

(Items are helpful tools that fall on the screen during play.

Some are good and useful, others are bitches)

Flip - biggest pain in the ass item

the flip item brings little to no influence at all. By inverting the controls it only makes this dyslexic world I already live in just that much more difficult



Warp
allows you to go so far right that your paddle re-enters from the left or vice versa. What I don't understand about the warp tool is: why with such a cool name does it suck so much?



Slow
makes getting to the next level take that much longer. This is a good item for people who need that extra couple of seconds to navigate over


Catch
useful when the pace of the game becomes rapid. You can benefit from this pause - a few seconds to regain composure



Long
extends your paddle on the sides. Think of it as a fat goalie - or a fat cock if your That Kid.



Gun
very useful on the solid bricks. Pretty much taking the one shot - one kill mantra



Bomb
dropping loads



Laser
a less powerful type of gun item that allows for rapid unlimited firing requiring more focused shots to defeat a brick



Multi
one of my dreams is to just have balls all over my phone screen so I see the multi item as the closest thing to that. Also juggling all those balls raises your skill level



Life- the good and most useful item
rookies, veterans, all pros, and all madden brick breaker players could always use some extra life



I've never played with the sound on so that might change things. But i don't feel like turning it on (twss) because there is nooooo way in hell the games theme song could be better than these.

Here's one brick that I would never touch tho.

Battle of... local bands

vs.

I guess the word local would need to be defined here. Jaxon Boom hails from allston rock city while Y LUV is from my home base town of Lex Vegas (Lexington) buttfuck it, I think they're both good.

Video wise Y LUV rocks socks, Jaxon - I heard them live and by that i mean i was at a house party the other weekend and they played in the basement. One song in particular was dope and I was singing it all day the next day. Figures I go to youtube, type in the song cuz it was that awesome and all i get is some weird video.

The band pulled a clean 180 on me.

The night before they were screaming, fired up, jumping across the stage, swearing, crushing beers, banging bitches, sweating, turning red in the face, making my drunk ass yell right along with them - then in the video they are shirtless, cowed- out, and wigged out.

Figures.

Just bypass the awkward two minutes and six seconds. (start 2:06) and jam from there - like i saw.

           battle on    

What's good Raj

Giving a shout out to my boy Raj aka Raj. He's a big fan of deez nu...blogs. Blogz. DezBlogz. DeezBlogz.  i don't even know the name of the site now.

I know Raj and you will like this.

(Raj, click the word "this" , it'll bring you to barstool sport's smokeshow of the day archive. speaking of archive - we have one)

Awesomest Thing Ever

The Most Awesomest Thing Ever

by That Kid

While stumbling through the internet drunk, my staggering internet feet eventually led me to the website: http://www.mostawesomestthingever.com./

The website claims to be on a quest to discover the “most awesomest thing ever” through a series of user-based battles. There’s no need to sign up or even turn your brain on at any time, all you have to do is go to the site and within one minute you’ll be presented your first head to head battle, where you choose whichever person, place, or thing you think is the more awesome of the two, and then after you choose it will show you the stats on that particular item, and how awesome it is compared to the rest of the choices, as well as its win-loss ratio.

With all that said, the choices and battle combination’s for this site are about as ridiculous as this entire concept all together, for instance, the first battle I got was between a cough, and the Ikea soundtrack staple Ace of Base. After thirty minutes of complete idiotic system shutdown, my brain eventually managed to reboot itself and to avoid any further injury chose Ace of Base just to move along, and in no way to suggest that Ace of Base is any less capable of pissing me off then coughing, just that as much as they try, Ace of Base can never physically hurt me. After this first battle I figured it would be interesting to start recording some of the ridiculous battles, as well as bullshit stats that went along with things way too low on the list, enjoi.

Ed Gein
vs.
Plinko
(315th most awesome)

The man who influenced the characters in Psycho, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and Silence of the Lambs, or the zero strategy game from The Price is Right. I went with Plinko because in no way could Plinko influence something that would freak me out.

~ ~ ~

DVD decrypter
(373 rd)
vs.
Nextel

~ ~ ~

Flo Rida
(973 rd)
vs.
Pirate’s Booty

This was a tough one. Although they’re both delicious, I’m basing this off of something completely unrelated to taste. You may have heard in the news a couple of years ago Pirate’s Booty got in trouble for mis-labeling their nutritional facts, angering tons of land dwelling manatees and pissing me off with their constant bitching about how Pirate’s Booty caused them to get fat (and not all that no-exercise and daily pints of Haagen-Dazs)
Flo Rida gets the win because although Pirate’s Booty is delicious, Flo Rida has never been accused of turning fat girls fat (but definitely Phat).

~ ~ ~

Boy Scouts of America
(877 th)
vs.
Matthew McConaughey

God damn it, this site is absolutely not the most awesomest thing ever. I cannot bring myself to choose Matthew however you spell his last name. I’m going to base this battle going by if this list was Not Least Useful People on Earth, Boy Scouts can tie knots and light fires and junk, Matthew McConaughey only succeeds in pissing me off.

~ ~ ~

War in Afghanistan

vs.

"Into the Blue"

The problem with the War in Afghanistan is the lack of Jessica Alba’s ass. The problem with Into the Blue is the lack of Paul Walker being used as target practice by soldiers from the War in Afghanistan.

The real winner here is all of us because of Jessica Alba’s ass.

~ ~ ~

Candice Bergen
vs.
Booger from Revenge of the Nerds

Murphy Brown vs. Booger…haha, “booger” BOOGER WINS

~ ~ ~

Cincinnati sports
vs.
*Gandalf

YOU SHALL NOT PASS!

~ ~ ~

Crack Cocaine

vs. 

Figure Skating

While I’ve never tried crack, I’m almost certain:

“Hey guys, I just got into crack”
 would go over a whole lot better than,
“Hey guys, I just got into Figure Skating.”

~ ~ ~

*Sauerkraut
(772nd)
vs.
Glenn Beck

Sauerkraut vs. a Sour Kraut. Fuck Glenn Beck.

~ ~ ~

Scuba Diving
vs.
*Michael Jordan
(172nd)

I can’t drown or get eaten by sharks watching Space Jam. Unfortunately when I saw MJ play the Knicks when I was a kid I was within creeping me the fuck out distance of Dennis Rodman.

~ ~ ~

*Bloodsport
(490th)

vs.

Coaster

(not a roller coaster, the kind you put your drink on)

This easily could have been one of the most one-sided of the battles. When you think of a coaster, all you can picture is your annoying friend he keeps reminding you to use one because that’s why they’re there and he doesn’t want a ring on his table.

When you think of bloodsport, you do a splitkick in the air kicking your friend in the face and then break a brick, no, not that one on top, the one in the middle…KUMITE!

~ ~ ~

Dear John letter
vs.
*Reptilian Humanoid
(131st)

Then about a week later, right out of the blue, she sends me a John Deere letter. I called her up and she gave me some crap about me not listening to her enough or something like that. I wasn't really paying attention. With that being said REPTILIAN HUMANOID!

~ ~ ~

Star Trek
vs.
*the Theory of Relativity

Star Trek claims they can hit warp speed and that Scotty can beam people up.

Albert Einstein’s Theory of Relativity tells Star Trek to shut the fuck up.

~ ~ ~

*Ninja’s
(11th!)
vs.
Katy Perry

Unfortunately this isn’t who would you do, because Katy Perry’s got a couple of Japanese Islands I wouldn’t mind dropping bombs all over.

~ ~ ~

*The Ability to Walk
(63rd)
vs.
A Hug

Aww, can’t walk? How about a hug? Will that make you feel better?

I could do this all day because the ridiculousness just keeps coming, but I’m le tired.

-That Kid.


- That Kid >: - |

Todays blogz brought to you by the number 10

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9.....

10 reasons to watch the news in boston

10 movies aliens hate our human guts in

10 things you do on facebook

10 greatest (or worst) things you think while drinking

The Broccoli tree

Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name, and they're always glad ya came.

No, I'm not talking about CHEERS bar, I'm talking about the Broccoli tree. For those of you who didn't go to Dean College and I'm sure that is alot of you - the broccoli tree (more commonly refered to as "Adams Butt Hut") was the place where no matter what hour of the day it was, someone was always out there. I'm sure at one time or another I saw Rooney out there destorying a pack of Reds. It was more than likely just Billy since he was out there EVERY night like clockwork.

The sense of community that happened at the Broccoli tree was like no other. Everyone was out there to do one thing and one thing only....smoke their butts or travel through time and space. To say Adams butt hutt was anything less than a pure magical place is pure magical bullshit. ONE time I saw a fight but that was just a rap battle that Not Retarded Perry clearly destoryed retarded Perry in a rap battle - who gives if he rhymed "shit" with "shit" - because I don't. To see that kid make it to six verses was amazing.

Great times happened at the Tree and that's something that can never be forgotten. All those times spent glaring at the cop sitting in the elementary school parking lot waiting for one of us to fuck up or for a speeding car to fly right by. Watch Dominos roll up to deliver that grime status. We were untouchable at our special spot, and for those who weren't touched, it was magic in the third degree. Wind, rain, shine, snow, sleet,  tornado, white out, black out, cock out, cook out, volleball, zombie nation for kicks, pick up sticks, Jaddwick's, whatever - someone was always out there. Dedication.

So people, go to your bars - hang out with your friends. Live by the Broccoli tree code: community.

(this video was named broccoli tree because the people featured in this video were the ones who made up the name. no if ands or buttttsssss.)

First Down Jim Brown

Bing?

Bing is my homepage. When I went on to the internet this morning it was to my suprise to see this animal greet me. At first glace i thought "what fucking animal is this?", at second glance i thought "what fucking animal is this?"

UPDATE - Whose the asshole who de-fanned

He has a face people. 

A couple inside sources located the culprit. We'll give him a warning this time.....

You can run but you can't hide from deez

http://dezblogz.blogspot.com/2010/04/whose-asshole-who-de-fanned.html

Get your TIVOs ready

press - As only Discovery can create and deliver, viewers will gain access to one of the most coveted locations known to man-the mind of Professor Stephen Hawking.  Marrying the most respected name in science with the most trusted worldwide name in nonfiction media, INTO THE UNIVERSE WITH STEPHEN HAWKINGis a landmark television event that will bend the mind, stretch the imagination and unleash the wonder.  Cutting- edge effects, digitally enhanced NASA footage and live action combine to bring Hawking's extraordinary vision of the universe to the screen for the first time.  Definitive, provocative, surprising and exquisitely beautiful, INTO THE UNIVERSE WITH STEPHEN HAWKING is a fascinating look through the mind's eye of one of the finest brains on the planet.






For this blog I feel like a candy in a kid store, the blog material is limitless. Except on this one I'm going to take the hight road and just let you make your own....conclusion. Or let That Kid take it from here. 


Side note: this show may interfere with another awesome show airing at the exact same time.  So make some room on that Tivo people

Showed up, it was a hotel party

msnbc - Kiefer Sutherland started the night having drinks at a hotel bar — but by 4 a.m., the “24” star was photographed shirtless and stumbling on a London street.

According to reports, the actor was spotted drinking wine at the Covent Garden Hotel bar with a friend, where he stayed until 2 a.m. Next, he was driven to a nearby strip club, Stringfellow's Gentlemen's Club. Around 4 a.m., paparazzi captured the actor, who had since removed his shirt, being escorted out of the club by bouncers who held him in a headlock.

The actor was stumbling and falling all over the street — then reportedly was placed in his car and chauffeured back to his hotel.

I wonder if this would have played out differently if Kiefer was just chillin at a Holiday Inn instead of that trashy ass Covent Garden Hotel. Seems like people just let go of their morals when they're at a hotel. That's good news since here at Hotel Cenica del Rioo you may get a full booday mass-aage.

It also comes with a light. We got a light...

Was this the greatest ending to a show ever?!?

Yes. It was.

Watching LOST these days makes it seem like shit will never get solved - that we'll keep running in circles to figure out who's who, when are we, and what the fuck. Tuesday (April 13, 2010) we're watching LOST - as the show draws to a close I glance over to our digital clock to see there is two minutes remaining in the episode: crunch time if you will.

All is normal and quite as the show cuts to Desmond sitting in his BMW checking out the trim at the local elementary school. Naturally Ben comes over and creeps the shit out of Deez-mond asking stupid questions like "hey why have you been here looking at kids all day?" and shit like that.

Blah blah blah. John Locke in the parking lot. Desmond floors it. Awesome ending ensues.

When Heidi Watney speaks, we almost listen.

I’m in the café a little while ago, eating lunch by myself like fucking Peter Glandsberg. As I’m walking across the café to my seat I look over to the giant television screen where NESN is on. Don’t ask me what show it was but the screen went from old Red Sox stock footage to Heidi Watney.

I’m no stranger to her beauty and overall bang-ability as she has been the picture in our drink coasters at home since September. What strikes me the most about Heidi Watney is her ability to stop a viewing audience in their tracks. Sitting in the café also was a couple of Hispanic cooks who were either on their lunch break or didn’t give a shit.  

The same wave of speechless-ness washed simultaneously over Pablo and myself when Heidi’s face popped up. 

Miss Watney right then and there had bridged a cultural divide bringing together a young adolescent Caucasian male and two middle aged Hispanics with one medium shot of her in a green dress.

 When Heidi Watney speaks, we almost listen.

Watching a sox game with the roommates (mostly just Dave because Chris is busy) Heidi Watney is bound to have face time on more than several occasions. When the camera cuts to Heidi somewhere in the stands reporting; before her name is even displayed on the lower third graphic every warm-blooded American male lets out an audible moan of just pure excitement and arousal. 

I haven’t felt this way about a woman on my television screen since my Alex Mac days. 

You gotta fight, dun dun, for your right, dun dun, tooo FREEEE-DOMMM

That Kid Fucks With People

Quick Back-story: Friend of the site let’s call him Izzy (no maybe that’s too obvious) we’ll call him, Izzy, has been hounding me about coming up to Lexington to see some Revolutionary Road War reenactment or some junk this upcoming Monday. Unfortunately, I am without a car, a job, my pets heads are falling off, and am in school in Newyorkaschusetts so the whole Monday date just puts the icing on the cake of there’s no way I’m coming.

So to make him stop hounding me, I did what every person would in this situation, fuck with them until they shut up, enjoy!

Dan

How does one get in to being a civil war reen-actor?

6:54pm - Izzy

http://www.reenactmenthq.com/

6:55pm - Dan

So apparently I’m not the only one of us who was wondering

6:55pm - Izzy

No I just looked that up like a week ago

6:56pm - Dan

Can I just show up as Robert E Lee?

COME ON MEN, LET’S KILL THE RED COATS

6:56pm - Izzy

It’s not the civil war you idiot

This is the revolutionary war

6:57pm - Dan

...and

6:57pm - Izzy

Never mind

6:57pm - Dan

You can call it whatever you want, it’s still the same war

I don’t care how revolutionary it was

6:57pm - Izzy

It’s not the same war

6:58pm - Dan

I’m sure it was a different war for a lot of people, obviously not everyone’s going to agree with why the war was being fought

6:58pm - Izzy

You’re just affirming my theory on CT people

Un-American

6:59pm - Dan

Which side was the rebel alliance?

6:59pm - Izzy

I can't talk to you

7:01pm - Dan

Word

- That Kid